Praising results, but not only

Young children have no problem letting things go. It's a flaw built up over time, and it takes us years to unlearn it as adults.To correct a behavior, parents intuitively reprimand them when something wrong happens. We correct in the now what was done in the past.It creates a strong bond between how we feel now and what happened then—a strong connection between the outcome, our feelings about the outcome, and the past performance.While this is not entirely...

Living with an 18-month-old is never boring. My son, Lucas, swings from one mood to another in less time than it took me to write the end of this sentence.One moment, he's happy reading a book. The next, he stands and tries to reach for a toy his sister plays with, but he melts down because he can't get it.The intensity and the pace of the scene reveal its obvious absurdity.However, we often fail to recognize it when it happens to us adults with slightly different...

Parenting is as live as improv theater. The rest of the troupe is here, the audience is here, and there's only one take.When I started my job as a dad, I thought I'd always be able to give it my best. Not in a presumptuous way, but in a will-try-really-hard kind of way.But real life is messy. Kids get tired; parents get tired. There are a million things to care for and problems to deal with. As good of a juggler as you might be, dropping some balls is...

It was super windy last weekend, and I was a bit agitated. I was on my way out to join my family at the playground. But as I was stepping past the wooden gate (I built it myself, and I'm a bit proud of it), I decided to go back and grab a football.Four steps away from the gate. That was far enough for me to be too far to catch it as the wind slammed it shut.Well, it did more than that. It ripped off the plank that was supposed to stop the gate. I looked in...

Kids get excited about things that are very different from those of adults.You probably remember your kid's first birthday. The members of the extended family all wanted to spoil her. They brought fun gifts. Useful and useless ones. They brought toys recommended by the best parent influencers.They looked at your child with excitement, as she was unwrapping the gifts with you. But she didn't seem to... care? "No, no don't play with the wrapping paper!...